A Blonde’s Take on the Movie “Frozen”

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That’s nice, but the cold does bother me. There are other people in the room besides just yourself, you know . . .

Well, well, well, Disney finally learned how to make Pixar movies. Fancy.

Apparently, just one Princess doesn’t cut it anymore, so Disney decided to supersize and include two Princess protagonists. But trust me, it totally won’t get confusing. I super promise.

So, this movie is about a Finnish-ish type place . . . or maybe Sweden-kinda. It’s one of those dangly looking countries with little to no sunlight. This Nordic place is a frozen tundra, and everyone is pretty pissed about it, even though their main export is ice, and it looks like that is going well for them. So, was it really that bad after all? The magic spell merely gained them…you know…more ice and stuff.

The plot moves on to Anna, who is locked inside the castle, yet she can leave at any time . . . but you’re not supposed to analyze that. Then a bunch of smurfs jump out of the rocks and solve some problems while singing. They did some magic on the girls, and they forgot things, sounding a little like Quagmire’s Roofie Colada.

I’m pretty sure this movie was written by a man-hater, because all men in this movie are either pigs, murderers, or power-hungry sociopaths. I think the writers liked the reindeer more than the men.

About all that Anna proves is how to completely fall in hopeless love with a guy in three hours and how to battle one snowman alongside another.

All I want is for the Let it Go song to leave my head. How much money do I have to pay Disney for that? I’m desperate enough to watch Bedknobs and Broomsticks if it’ll work. Please Angela Lansbury, use your witchcraft to sing me a Disney song to get rid of another Disney song.

 

Image courtesy of Stefan Schubert via Flickr, Creative Commons.

36 thoughts on “A Blonde’s Take on the Movie “Frozen””

  1. Loved your summation! And thank you for your service-I hadn’t seen the movie, had no desire to see the movie, yet felt I was missing something. Now I know I’m not.

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  2. The 8yo and the 4yo keeps singing that song. ALL. THE. TIME. They know all the words. They watch it on their tablets. Incidentally, someone made a parody of it, about farts, called Let One Go.

    I like Tangled (less songs, less earworms too) and Brave (no songs!).
    I have heard they’re thinking of making a sequel. If it’s so Queen Elsa can find a husband that will completely defeat the purpose of the first movie, yanno, since the act of true love was sibling love.

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  3. I also think elsa’s powers could have been controlled a lot sooner if eveyone would have listened to the trolls and to each other…. But i guess that wouldn’t make it a great movie because ignorance apparently makes for a good story plot…

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  4. I was so stoked to see the movie because everyone I know loved it. Almost walked the f*** out. Awful. Someone needed to b***h slap the boy crazy Anna and rip the damn pageant dress off Elsa. And what was with her fully grown-ass woman voice when she’s supposed to be about 18 years old and wafer thin? And if the one guy made his reindeer talk ONE MORE TIME, b***h was goin’ down. Clearly, I’m irate.

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  5. I was visiting family in Seattle and Frozen came up. The other 5 people in the room started ranting on the destructive, anti-social message espoused in the Let It Go song. Anna lets her ice-making machine ravage the landscape (and her own sister) and we celebrate the release she feels as she does it. “I mean, what are we encouraging? Are people with pent-up emotions or destructive impulses supposed to just Let Them Go regardless of the consequence? Is that really what we want kids to do?” “There goes anger-management.” “When you think about it, the song is more fitting for describing Boko Haram or ISIS.”
    Maybe Disney needed to think it through a few more minutes before unleashing that song on the world…

    Liked by 1 person

      1. And on another planet, Disney was so overwhelmed and ‘shocked’ at the success of Frozen, they removed some of the area from the Norway Pavillion at EPCOT (Norway being the closest thing in appearance to the setting of Frozen) in Orlando, Fl., so they could make a ‘Meet and Greet’ area for the two princesses. People happily paid to line up for their little girl’s chance at a picture with the two characters…

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  6. Lol! What a great commentary! Agreed. If I never hear “let it go” again I will be happy. It’s been sung to death. You don’t think it’ll follow me into the afterlife…?

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