Something’s gotta keep the parents entertained while watching this stuff, right?

Sometimes, watching kids movies is a chore, especially when they want to watch it over and over and over again. Many movies are trying to give the adults something to appreciate–to make it more . . . tolerable.

Here is my top 10 list for innuendos in kids movies.

 

1. Frozen (2013)
Dirty, freezing people.

Kristoff challenges Anna about hardly knowing anything about her impromptu true love and asks her several things about him. When he asks her his shoe size, she says, “Shoe size doesn’t matter.”

iiiiii don’t know that I agree with that.

 

2. Toy Story (1999)
In this Pixar classic, Bo Peep uses her cane to tug Woody over. After Woody saves her sheep, she offers to show her appreciation by saying, ” Whaddya say I get someone else to watch the sheep tonight?”

And don’t forget when Buzz’s “wings” suddenly pop up when Jessie does her stunt with the car racetrack.

 

3. A Bug’s Life (1998)
During the performance, a fly screams at Francis (a ladybug), “Hey, Judy, wanna pollinate with a real bug?”

That’s going from the insect world to the plant world, but whatever. It’s a kids movie.

 

4. The Brave Little Toaster (1987)
Not withstanding the printer having a sudden burst of printing after its memory bank being “stroked,” but a worse comment is made by the air conditioner to the vacuum, sounding strangely like Jack Nicholson.

“Whaddya going to do, suck me to death?”

 

5. Aladdin and the King of Thieves (1996)
When some shady characters show up at the wedding, the vibrations from the elephants caused Genie to say, “I thought the earth wasn’t supposed to move until the honeymoon.”

 

6. Cat in the Hat (2003)
In the scene where the cat is brandishing a garden tool, he squints and calls it a “Dirty Hoe.”

Technically, he’s correct, but it’s probably too much of a coincidence.

 

7. Shrek (2001)
This DreamWorks hit starring Mike Myers shows the scene with the magic mirror displaying eligible bachelorettes to Lord Farquaad (with a name like that, we all knew he would be a villain).

When the mirror settled on snow white, it said, “Although she lives with seven other men, she’s not easy.”

 

8. Toy Story 3 (2010)
When the purple bear removes Mrs. Potato Head’s mouth to quiet her, Mr. Potato Head says, “Nobody takes my wife’s mouth but me.”

Literally and figuratively.

 

9. Ratatouille (2007)
The food critic Anton Ego doesn’t just like food, he loves it. He is uber serious about his food flavor. At one point in the movie, he says, “If I don’t love it, I don’t swallow.”

Boy, Anton and I sure agree on something.

 

10. Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)
Not so innocent as she seems, Mrs. Doubtfire talks to his ex-wife’s new boyfriend and unleashes a barrage of innuendos.

• When he gives a gift like that, he wants more than a piece of her heart, eh?
• Going down payment
• Sink the sub
• Hide the weasel
• Park the porpoise
• A bit of the ol’ Humpty Dumpty
• Little Jack Horny
• The horizontal mambo
• The bone dancer
• Rumple Foreskin
• The old cunninglinguistics
• Power tool in the bedroom–I’m amazed she hasn’t chipped her teeth

Pierce Brosnan never knew what hit him.

 

Image courtesy of Braden Kowitz via Flickr, Creative Commons.