Here are the top 10 reasons why I’m not in the WNBA:

1. Skill, talent, and ability

2. A supreme will to look as masculine as possible

3. I don’t bench press things

4. My free-throw grunts need work

5. Blacklight tests on material in tour busses are usually worse than in hotel rooms.

6. Sneakers make my ankles look fat. I don’t think they’ll let me play in high heels.

7. I haven’t mastered the thick wadded ponytail or cornrows.

8. The attention of the 24 nationwide fans would be overwhelming.

9. I’m not sure if I’m ready for the unwieldy power of commanding $23,000 a year.

10. I don’t know sports. I’ve been practicing with a volleyball for two weeks before someone told me that I’m using the wrong ball. To be fair, I had a suspicion that it wasn’t bouncing properly.

 

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Image courtesy of Steve Baker via Flickr, Creative Commons.