You laugh. But I’m sure someone somewhere needs this list.

In case you are unsure if you are currently on fire, read this list to know for sure. Being on fire has been proven by the FDA and Mayo Clinic to be a drain on your quality of life.

Look to your left, now look to your right. Odds are that out of those four people, 27% of them have heard of fire before. If that statistic scares you, you’re not alone. If it doesn’t, then part of you isn’t human. Or, most of you is machine, and only part of you is human, anymore. Like Terminator. Or Miley Cyrus.

It is recommended that should you come to find yourself on fire, you should begin to think about extinguishing it. It’s best to not put off until tomorrow what might save your life today.

Five Signs You Might Be on Fire

1. Nobody is accepting your hugs.

2. People have been staring at you for at least the last 20 seconds.

3. Five alarm chili is starting to sound ironic to you.

4. People are throwing blankets on you, even though you keep mentioning that you’re not cold, but thank you for your concern.

5. You have not felt moist in some time.

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Image courtesy of aj-clicks via Flickr, Creative Commons.