Ah, pick up lines. The marketing branch of the dating world.
I received an interesting pickup line the other day, and I thought about pickup lines through the lens of things you wouldn’t normally associate it with.
Being a lady-creature, ice cream came to mind. Sue me.
Willie Nelson’s Country Peach Cobbler™: “You’re prettier than a beer truck pulling in the driveway.”
Coffee/Espresso Flavor: “Hi. How’re you doin’? Nice to meet you. I love dancing. You new here? You wanna dance? Hi.”
Stephen Colbert’s AmeriCone Dream™: “I’m the frosting on America’s cake, and tonight I’m willing to let you lick the bowl.” (Real quote, too)
Half Baked®: “Heeey. I just thought I’d come over for a bit. I don’t remember why. You look cool.”
Superman Flavor Ice Cream: “I’ve been using my x-ray vision on you for 3 hours.”
Boston Super Fudge Chunk®: “I’d luv to buy you that Sox Jersey. Alls I need is yoah name and numbah.”
Spumoni: “Would you like a little Italian in you?”
Chocolate: “Hey, girl. I know milk does a body good, but daamn–how much you been drinkin?”
Crab Flavored Ice Cream: “私は、あなたの電話番号を持つことができますか?”
Crème brûlée: “You must be a tower, because Eiffel for you.”
Black and Tan: “Gosssh, youu’re soo pretty. Thiss is the berst dayy of my life. Whooo! *hic*”
Bacon Ice Cream: “Baby, you’re finer than a new set of snow tires on my pickup truck. And you smell like the bottom of my mama’s purse.”
Rocky Road: “Wanna do it?”
Chubby Hubby®: “Are you someone who knows how to keep quiet?”
Cherry Garcia®: “What do you mean you don’t know the song Casey Jones?”
World Class® Ice Cream: “Perchance your father takes to gardening? How else then could he have bred such a marvelous and exquisite blossom?”
German Cake: “I have beer.”
Old Fashioned Butter Pecan Ice Cream: “Your hand looks heavy. Let me hold it for you.”
Orange Sherbet: “Damn, girl, are you sitting on an F5 key? Cause that ass is refreshing.”
Dave Matthews band® Magic Brownies™ Encore Addition: “I honestly have no idea what’s happening right now.”
Quarterback Crunch Ice Cream: “Want to see some Patriots balls that aren’t deflated?”
Vanilla: “Hi. How are you? My name’s Joe.”
30% less calories-Reduced sodium-Reduced fat-Reduced sugar Vanilla: “Hi.”
Image courtesy of Steven Depolo via Flickr, Creative Commons.
Outstanding.
Not so sure if worthy.
Klondike Ice cream bar.
Horn dog: Excuse me. You wouldn’t happen to know how much a polar bear weigh?
Victim: No, not really slick.
Horn dog: Sometimes enough to break the ice. whatz your name? :)
LikeLike
One of your best, Rachel. I shared it with my friends on FB.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My favorite is the Quarterback Crunch. :)
LikeLike
Very entertaining. ;)
But just out of curiousity, what was the interesting pick-up line you received?
LikeLike
Ask me on the Random Q and A page. That would be a good one to ask there.
LikeLiked by 1 person
If pick-up lines are the marketing brand of dating? Then that marketing company needs a public relations specialist. Stat.
(This was great!)
LikeLike
Chuckle, chuckle, woof-woof. Love your sense of humor. What I want to know is your responses- eg “Would you like a little Italian in you?” // “Sorry, I prefer large Italians.”
LikeLike
That’s a spicy-a-meatball.
LikeLiked by 1 person
And let’s not forget the flavor Tutti Frutiti: My friend is a really good dancer and has a great personality. Wanna go out with her?
LikeLike
Butter Brickle: “If I tell you your ass is sweet would you spread it around?”
Coconut: “I’m a hurricane and your’e a coconut tree, baby. I’m gonna blow you so hard your nuts fly off.”
Chocolate Peanut Butter Chunk: “You’re like a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. There’s just no wrong way to eat you.”
Green Tea: “I love you long time.”
Bubblegum: “Blow me.”
Black Cherry: “I like big butts and I cannot lie…”
French Vanilla: “Show me your tongue, Cherie.”
Rocky Road: “Hold on, it’s going to be a bumpy night.”
Ben & Jerry’s Karamel Sutra®: “We better stretch first.”
Gelato: “”Posso offrirti una bevanda calda per sciogliere il ghiaccio?” (“Can I get you a hot drink to break the ice?”)
LikeLiked by 1 person
This made me LOL first thing this morning - thanks for that!!
LikeLike
The nerd in me loves the Orange Sherbet F5 reference. ☺
LikeLike
This is great!
LikeLike
Reblogged this on mondozeitgeist and commented:
Comedy. F***ing. Gold. Period. :)
LikeLike
Orange Sherbet made my f***ing day!
LikeLike
I think the Japanese for Crab Flavored Ice Cream is “私はあなたの電話番号を持つことはできますか？” Google translator with ‘can’ produces “I, you can” instead of “May I …” Maybe I’m wrong…
LikeLike
I have a Japanese representative that occasionally visits this blog. Hmm…where is she…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hehehehe humans guys are so funny,xx Speedy
LikeLike