I know what you’re all thinking. You’re thinking to yourself how you’d love to crawl into my pretty, pink brain and bask in the warm glow of the random that is Rachel. Well, now you have that chance.

They say that as a blog writer, I’m supposed to “connect” with my readers. I have no idea what that means. So, I guess this is my attempt at “reaching out.” It’s rare, so enjoy it and stuff.

In the comments of this page, go ahead and ask me whatever random question you’d like. If I like the question, I’ll answer it publicly on this page below. If it’s too weird, creepy, or yet another question asking my home address and a list of all my fears, then I’ll likely ignore it and back away slowly.

The more random the question is, the higher of a chance I’ll answer it. Nobody wants to know who my role models are in life, but I’m sure you all want to know what my favorite ice cream flavor is. Life is odd like that. If you ask me a serious question, I’ll likely make fun of you.

Continue to check back here periodically and scroll to the bottom for new questions/answers. I’ll be adding to this every so often, and you certainly don’t want to miss out on this, as you don’t with anything on this blog.

 

1. Moongazer: What’s the worst Christmas present you ever got?
An antfarm. Apparently, my friend thought my near phobia of bugs makes me super qualified to breed them.

 

2. Wgr56: How do you feel about eating grits for breakfast?
Underwhelmed.

 

3. Irtfyblog: When washing your hands in a public restroom, if you happen to see hair in the sink, will you avoid using it and move to another?
Wow, that was specific. It depends on whether it’s my hair or not. I always remove my hair from public restroom sinks. You never know who’s following you to collect it to add to the human doll they have hidden at home. My stalker could be a few toenails shy of a whole Rachel by now.

 

4. Will: If you had wings but were unable to fly due to legal reasons where would you spend your summers and that one day a year when the caterpillar climbs to the top of the tallest tree and turns into a butterfly?
You’re seriously higher than a kite right now.

 

5. Vladamirtunguskajones: What superhero/heroine would you want to date?
First of all, your name is almost longer than the question. I’ll go with Plastic Man. It sounds so right for reasons so wrong. Ladies, you can’t tell me you’ve never thought about it.

 

6. Runningcommentator: Would you rather be banned from eating pizza for life or banned from eating sandwiches for life?
I would like to be banned from making sandwiches for life.

 

7. Dan Hoger: What’s your favorite question?
“Would you like your diamonds now or later, Rachel?”

 

8. Elenaariel: What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve done to make a buck or two?
I once helped two deer fall in love over a spaghetti dinner. The male nudged a meatball over to the female. They made love with smooth jazz playing in the background and later produced two calves. They both were male and grew up to become stunning bucks. I take all the credit.

 

9. Alphabetstory: What is your favorite hair color?
Although I’m a natural blonde, it depends which country’s secret agents I’m evading that month. Red hair usually fools the Mongolian government fairly well, for some reason.

 

10. IxH: What was your last good dream about?
Eating spaghetti and Lucky Charms off of Zach Efron’s stomach with a dull spork while half-heartedly conducting a chorus of the purple elephants from Fantasia singing the show choir version of Thrift Shop by Macklemore. But Paula Abdul’s 80’s leg warmers complicated things. So, you know, the normal type dream, I guess.

 

11. Anonymous: If you were a work of art, which work of art would you be and why?
I would be a Picasso painting. Then people would constantly look at me sideways and squint, saying, “And what is this supposed to be?”

 

12. George: If you could be any Disney character, who would it be and why?
I’ll say Lilo, because short of becoming a cartoon, I don’t see how I’ll make it to Hawaii to have my vacation. It’s better scenery than being any character from Frozen.

Either that or the 4 of spades from Alice in Wonderland. For no specific reason.

Or dwarf number 8 in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Doc, Bashful, Grumpy, Sneezy, Sleepy, Happy, Dopey, and Snarky. Ten points if you can guess which one I am.

 

13. Laurie Samsel Olson: What is your recipe for Pina Colada fudge?
That sounds like the type of drink my friend Francis would like. He’s fabulous, if you know what I mean.

Um. Not sure, as those sound like two things that were never intended to go together. It’s an unholy alliance that burns my lily white skin.

 

14. Tennesseeseed: If you could remove one thing from this planet what would it be?
Anus bleaching kits. God/Zeus/sun god Ra/Allah/Tom Cruise made them brown for a reason, people. Leave them be.

 

Image courtesy of Alexander Henning Drachmann via Flickr, Creative Commons.